|
| 7yr Bitch |
| 04.19.04 (3:38 am) |
Somewhere someone once said that life progresses in 7 year cycles. If you ask me, most sayings are 50% truth and 50% bull, but this one seems to have somehow worked in my life. I’m up for the next chapter in the next year or so. It’s pretty strange when you review your life that way.
The first 7 years were spent growing up. Pretty much on 7 years I started to go to school, spent the next 7 years as “kid gigolo” (ie “dated” all 22 girls in my class, one after the other), and then hit a 7 year female drought, and no, not one girl in sight. Then in the next 7 years I progressed from virgin to married man, just to spend the last few years of my life picking up the pieces of a failed marriage. It’ll be another year I think before things settle financially and so on, and that’s when the next 7 year period supposedly will start.
Strangely, I can feel changes. I feel myself getting old(er). Lately, I haven’t been motivated at all to sit here and write, or even be on the net at all. I’m tired of listening to the same music over and over again. I mean, yeah, I love music, always have, and always will, but I’ve been thinking of throwing some of the old tapes out, and selling some of my CDs and Vinyl. I’m watching a lot more DVDs and movies than ever before. And most of all, I seem to have periods when I find myself appreciating the little things.
I think even my idea of love is changing. I’ve been married, had a couple of deep long distance relationships since… and been tempted to start a third, but I don’t want to anymore. Some people accuse me of falling in and out of love too easily. I don’t think that’ll ever change, but I am starting to comprehend what I’m looking for, and writing blogs has given me a chance to learn to express the way I feel.
That’s not to say that I will never love again. Quite the opposite in fact. It just means that I am not going to let myself fall as easily in love, and I am not going to settle for someone on the other side of the planet. I know what I need. And I want it. Not next year, not in a decade. I want it now. In the flesh. I want romance, and touch, I want cuddles and hugs. I want to fall asleep holding someone or being held. I’m sick and tired of being alone.
I have a feeling that I’ll be spending my next 7 years more or less alone. It’s already starting. I’m settling in this place here, and I’m starting to feel comfortable. I have no motivation left to do anything else. I’m not happy, but I’m content.
You know, what’s funny? I’ve been on the internet for 6 years, on computers for 20. Next year, it’s all 7s again. Ponderous. Very ponderous.
|
|
0 Comments
|
| |
|
|
